Coping with Chronic Pain

Recurrent primary headaches are chronic pain disorders that often last a lifetime. The more frequent your headaches, the more time you must spend dealing with pain. Chronic pain can be debilitating and frustrating for both the headache sufferer and their doctors. Don't forget, however, the impact on the family or co-workers and how it can either make the condition better or worse.

Chronic pain is caused by many conditions, most of which are incurable and/or poorly understood. The condition causes pain, but not loss of life or limb, and so pain management is the only therapy. How much pain you have, and how often you have it is dependent on your individual disorder and its intensity. With headaches, the intensity and frequency can change over time putting both you and others around you on a roller coaster course physically and emotionally. Depression and anxiety are common comorbidities (a condition that exists in addition to another) to chronic pain. This is a reasonable response to long term pain, the lack of control over it, trial and error therapy, loss of normal function, and fear of financial instability.

When you are first diagnosed, friends, family and co-workers tend to be interested in and understanding of your disorder. They will let you talk about it, help care for you when you need it, and your co-workers will understand if you need to take a little time off. Over time, however, they become frustrated. If you suffer from cluster headaches that occur several nights per week for 4 months, you may understandably find yourself late for work or unable to get your kids to school on time. During that first cluster episode, the school administrator may be compassionate and helpful and your co-workers may pick up the slack in your workload. Six months may pass before the headaches recur, and during this second cluster episode others may be a little less willing to understand. Over time, this can lead to career stagnation, and in worse cases, job loss. You will become anxious and fear the inability to function normally, or even earn a living. This is entirely normal and understandable – anyone would feel the same way.

Children and teenagers who suffer from recurrent primary headaches deal with many of the same issues. It tends to be a little different for them, however, because their higher thinking processes and coping mechanisms are not fully developed. They may become fearful of dying even though they have been reassured otherwise. They may feel different from other kids at school because they have to take medicine or miss important events. Even though a day off might seem great at first, they really just want to be like everyone else. Teachers and school administrators may become irritated with the child or parent over time due to a lack of knowledge about headache disorders. They may imply that the child is faking and too sensitive. All of these things lessen the child's ability to cope with chronic pain and, ultimately, injure their self-esteem. After your child has an attack, explain the headache to them and reassure them how common and non-life threatening they are. Find a support group in your area that allows children to discuss their chronic pain with each other. Educate your child's teachers and principal about recurring primary headaches and give them literature to read. This will help you to communicate more effectively with them, and make them more responsive to your child while in school.

If you suffer from chronic recurrent primary headaches, be aware of the psychological processes that will occur as a result. The mind and body are not independent of each other, and both need to be cared for. Put plans in place to establish a safety net during an attack so that the loss of function will be manageable for you. This can be as simple as having a "pizza night" for your kids when you have a headache so that you don't have the added stress of feeling like you need to cook for them. Educate your boss and co-workers on your headache disorder and then establish an acceptable policy that applies when you are having an attack before they occur. Do not be afraid of seeking counseling from a therapist or support group if you are feeling overwhelmed or depressed about your pain. It is normal and will help you cope.

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